What Does Friendship Mean in My Life?

I learned a lot about friends when I got sick in 2002. I learned that a friend is someone I trust to be with me when I am at my weakest and most vulnerable. And they are people who, no matter how painful it is to see, are willing to be with me when I am so helpless and weak. If I would trust my life with you, and vice versa, we are friends. It’s not about whether you are trustworthy, or whether you are friendly, it’s the actual act of trust that is the basis of friendship. If I trust you to be truthful, then you’re a friend. If I find I must be careful how I say things, then it’s something other than friendship.
Friendship is not a state of mind, it’s an act. It’s something you do, it’s not about whether you’re good or not, it’s not a reflection of you, it’s a balanced relationship between people. That doesn’t mean it’s always balanced at every moment. Sometimes you “need a friend” and other times it’s the other way. It’s a trust that’s returned. When I was younger and thought I was in love, a friend said it’s not love unless it’s returned. Friendship and love are not quite the same thing, although there’s a lot of love around friendship. I learned that love isn’t even something about two people, it’s a state of being for one person. You aren’t in love, you are love. You are, whether you acknowledge it or not. The heart that’s pumping blood through your body is an act of love, 24 hours a day, whether you’re Mother Teresa or Adolf Hitler. (Sorry for the extreme example.)
There’s a world of difference between being a friend and being a fan. I’ve heard people who I’ve never met say we’re friends. And then of course when I do something they don’t like, I’ve betrayed the supposed friendship. They’re living in a dreamworld. The more popular my weblog has become the more people have this dream. It’s very puzzling to be the object in the middle of this swirl of emotions, I say object because my job isn’t to be truthful, my job is to be who you think I should be. Of course that’s not friendship, that’s torture.
Friendship is an in-depth, relaxed relationship!
Friends relate.
It is an in-depth relationship combining trust, support, communication, loyalty, understanding, empathy, and intimacy.
These are certainly aspects of life that all of us crave.
Being able to trust and relax with your friend is a big part of friendship.
Remember when you were young and went with a friend to her grandma's for the week-end. It was fun but when you got home, home was wonderful. Your feeling was "I'm home. I can relax now."
That's what a friendship should be.
You go out into the world and do your best. You have your ups and downs, your problems and triumphs, your fun and tribulations. You charm and you perform.
Then you come "home" to a friend. You can relax, put up your feet; you are relieved. If you still have to be charming and/or performing, it's not a relief.
Friendship is a comfy situation like home. You get home, kick off your shoes, relax and sigh, "Ahh, home."
But no one can form a friendship until he/she realizes that the basis of being friends is meeting the needs of the other person. One must be a friend to have one.
Never forget that friends relate. Relating is the basis of friendship